Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
