babies were throwing up all over the place
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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