that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I checked into jail on foursquare
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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