You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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