My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
