I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
