Screwed.edu
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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