Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
