He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
