Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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