my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
