My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
