bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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