I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
