fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
