I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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