What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
