Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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