the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
