he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
