wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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