Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
