The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sober January is a disaster.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
