Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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