I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
