I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we should paint friendship bongs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
