I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
