Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
