You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
