idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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