Will you blow on my dice?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i out mim tonsoeep
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
