i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
