so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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