and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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