Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
