why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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