I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction