I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.