so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize