No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
