It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
