When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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