I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
