I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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