I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
