I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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