her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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