Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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