Where is the hickey?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
