quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
