I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
