it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Please don't give away my fajitas
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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