it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
