i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
