It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's Friday. Sex?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
