My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
