plz talk dirty to me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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