apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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