im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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