She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
