So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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