Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
