...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
